Today's News
Humor/Satire
In today's news:
Politics
Democratic candidate and presumptive president Barack Obama gave a speech at fisherman's wharf in San Francisco. The speech was
focused on how Obama plans to change America to a Vegan, socialist utopia, returning us to a more sane pre-industrial lifestyle.
After discussing his plans for the great new society; much to this reporters amazement Obama quietly stepped off the dock and
walked on water back to shore. Most of the crowd seemed completely unsurprised by this event, one person even commenting that he
was surprised it hadn't happened before.
On the way to the shore, to ask Obama some questions I was able to interview one star eyed supporter. When asked what the
supporter thought of the content of Obama's speech, the reply was simply, "I've seen Obama speak three or four times, I never
can remember exactly what he says but the way he says it sends a thrill up my leg."
Upon catching up with Obama, I asked about his amazing ability to walk on water, Obama looked confused at the question replying
only that he had been doing it since a child and he thought everyone except republicans could.
On the other side of the country the spiteful, hate filled, untrustworthy Hillary Clinton was busy trying to seat the delegates
from the obviously racist states of Florida and Michigan. Her argument being that democrats should not disenfranchise
voters in what may be battleground states.
In other news John McCain has not died yet.
Politics
Democratic candidate and presumptive president Barack Obama gave a speech at fisherman's wharf in San Francisco. The speech was
focused on how Obama plans to change America to a Vegan, socialist utopia, returning us to a more sane pre-industrial lifestyle.
After discussing his plans for the great new society; much to this reporters amazement Obama quietly stepped off the dock and
walked on water back to shore. Most of the crowd seemed completely unsurprised by this event, one person even commenting that he
was surprised it hadn't happened before.
On the way to the shore, to ask Obama some questions I was able to interview one star eyed supporter. When asked what the
supporter thought of the content of Obama's speech, the reply was simply, "I've seen Obama speak three or four times, I never
can remember exactly what he says but the way he says it sends a thrill up my leg."
Upon catching up with Obama, I asked about his amazing ability to walk on water, Obama looked confused at the question replying
only that he had been doing it since a child and he thought everyone except republicans could.
On the other side of the country the spiteful, hate filled, untrustworthy Hillary Clinton was busy trying to seat the delegates
from the obviously racist states of Florida and Michigan. Her argument being that democrats should not disenfranchise
voters in what may be battleground states.
In other news John McCain has not died yet.